We're a menace now

This summer, remember to drive safely, and obey the signs.

That is all.

Mixtape: Top 10 of 2010

Bob: Yo, Eric. Remember how the word Macarena was huge in '96?
Eric: She was a large woman
Bob: Well, the word FUCK, was huge in 2010
Eric: A huge FUCK.

Cat vs Printer - The Translation

Mixtape: Christmas Popper

Eric: Santa is evil, Bob
Bob: But he is so jolly!
Eric: He knows where I live...
Bob: I would argue that it's Rudolph who knows where you live.
Eric: Then Rudolph is evil too.
Bob: Well, his nose IS a bit suspicious

Mixtape: Fireworks Fuser

Bob: Now Eric, remember those safety tips about Fireworks?
Eric: Yeah, I remember.
Bob: Can you share some with the good people?
Eric: Never let off Fireworks in a tin shed, in your piercings, near haystacks or inside teddybears.
Bob: Thank you...

Mixtape: Melbourne Cup

Bob: Hey Eric, have you picked a winner for the Melbourne Cup?
Eric: No. Since I'm by myself, I had to bet on all the horses.
Bob: Huh?
Eric: It was expensive too. I dont use money, so I'm down on all my bottlecaps.
Bob: Uhhh.... okay.

Mixtape: Summer!

Eric: Yo, its the slip, slop, slap, rap
Bob: Wiggidy wiggidy wack, mack...
Eric: Bi-di boo, bi-di bah
Bob: A mixtape for sum-mah!

Mixtape: Movember

BOB: Here's some great songs for all those growing a mo' for Movember!
ERIC: A bit of Mo'town then?
BOB: No.

Mixtape: Halloween

Eric: Trick Or Treat!
Bob: Trick...
Eric: ..... ? .....
Bob: Here, listen to this music...

Nice parking, Bob

Mixtape: Music for Chilean Miners

Eric: That was a long shaft they had!
Bob: 625m underground, 33 miners, 69 days.
Eric: ...it could be a swingers nightclub, Bob
Bob: ...i'm sure it got a bit sweaty down there!

Mixtape: SUPERCITY

Eric: Yo Brown, get dowwwnnn....
Bob: Brown... as in Len Brown?
Eric: Down with Len Brown!
Bob: Here's our tribute to the Supercity of Sails, Auckland...
Eric: Watch me do the worm...

Mixtape: One for Insomniacs

BOB: Got the rumble?
ERIC: My belly?
BOB: Hardly. Christchurch is fast becoming the City of Insomniacs
ERIC: We sympathise. Bob ya head, yo.

Hand Whistle

Bob: Don't tell me you did this again!
Eric: Yeah, at the Bus Stop.
Bob: What happened?
Eric: Tha blind guys dog ran off.
Bob: OMG!! Then what happened?
Eric: I ran off too.

Use this skill wisely peeps!

Mixtape: Commonwealth Games 2010

Time to break out a good curry, and rock da joint like you're cruising the streets of Delhi, yo. It's Commonwealth Games, Indian styles!

Mixtape: Rock Bonanza #1

Hey kids! Feel the need to ROCK OUT!? 

The Bob N Eric Rock Bonanza series is for you. 60 minutes of poo-popping, brain-smashing rock, every time.

Here's the first mixtape, with 17 goat-crushing rock cuts to enjoy!

Christchurch Earthquake MIXTAPE

BOB: So this Christchurch Earthquake dropped some bricks, and the aftershocks keep rolling in...
ERIC: I drop bricks in the toilet.
BOB: I knew you'd say something like that.
ERIC: Yeah. Then I fart.
BOB: You have your OWN aftershocks too?
ERIC: Better out than in.
BOB: Anyway, we decided to drop some bricks of our own and hit back with our own aftershock - with our Earthquake Mixtape.
ERIC: We picked songs from previous shows (and future ones too) so play this mixtape LOUD bitches! Tell the aftershocks to fuck off.
BOB: It is our sincerest hope our fans affected by the Earthquake get a smile from this mixtape, Enjoy!
ERIC: Bye.
BOB: You don't need to say bye, we said enough.
ERIC: Oh okay. Bye!

Karma waits over the border

Dude 1: YEAHHHH! We made it across the border!

Dude 2: Is that a corner?

Dude 1: No the road is straight.

Dude 2: No man, I think there's a corner...

Dude 1: No there isn't! And keep STILL back there!!!

Everyone else: Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!

The original viral video?

Bob:

We are told this was a really popular 'viral' video back in its day (no it wasn't sick or needed medicine), but it was shared around by taking two VHS players and copying the original tape, then copying the copy, and on and on and on.

Today, its called 'going viral' and thankfully, it doesn't require an actual VHS tape, nor getting ill from sharing it around.

This guy really can't keep his brain functioning, when recording a TV ad. Watch!



Speaking of viral, I remember my first viral tape - it was a cassette of Appetite For Destruction by Guns n Roses. I wore that fucker down.

I told you Eric - You have to be CAREFUL

Bromley Shit Ponds

Eric took a visit to the Bromley shit ponds today.

Here he is in front of one of the ponds:

Funny Monkeys

Would you pay to see Monkey-sex?

Don't Park on The Grass!

BOB: Eric - look what I found!
ERIC: Whats that Bob?
BOB: A video!
ERIC: A video? WOW! Where did you find it?
BOB: On the web...
ERIC: Thats the internet eh Bob.
BOB: Yeah.
ERIC: Not from a Spider eh Bob
BOB: No Eric.
ERIC: Was the video VHS or Betamax?
BOB: Damn, so close...

Glock, Clock & Rock: Shrewsbury Biscuits

Here's the wiggidy-wack, Jack. We love Shrewsburys so today we're gonna give you our glock, clock and rock how-to, yo.

First up, you're gonna need about 125g butter and half a cup of caster sugar.

ERIC: Some Bakers call it Bakers Sugar. Can't imagine why.
BOB: Yeah, other fine folk call it Super Fine sugar
ERIC: Geeks call it an edible crystalline substance, mainly sucrose, lactose, and fructose characterized by a sweet flavour. Nerds.

You'll also need some baking trays and non-stick baking paper.

ERIC: Playboy could learn a thing or two about that kind of paper.
BOB: Ahem.

You will also need a teaspoon of vanilla essence, one caged egg, 1 cup of flour and another half a cup of flour to create a grand total of one and a half cups of flour, a pinch of salt (ow!), a teaspoon of baking powder...

ERIC: Wow! I didn't know powder could bake!
BOB: Ask De La Soul - they bake a different kind of powder.

and finally the jam - pick whatever flavour you like best and get half a cup ready.

STEP 1: Heat your oven to 180C.
STEP 2: Line two baking trays with the nonstick baking paper. Place butter, sugar and vanilla in a bowl and beat until thick and pale, then beat in egg.

ERIC: Beat until thick and pale? I'm having 3rd form flashbacks.

STEP 3: Sift flour, salt and baking powder into the butter mixture and stir to combine. Turn mixture out onto a board and knead lightly to bring together as a firm dough. Wrap dough in plastic wrap and chill for 30 minutes.

BOB: No comment there Eric?
ERIC: No, I got all that.
BOB: Huh. (maybe a "plastic rap" later)

STEP 4: On a lightly floured surface, roll out dough to 3mm thick.

ERIC: What kind of flowered surface? I don't like chrysanthemums.
BOB: Did you see chrysanthemums on the ingredients list?
ERIC: Oh haha, righto. Some plants are just rude

STEP 4 (cont'd): Cut out 36 circles with a biscuit cutter and place on prepared baking trays. Cut out and remove smaller circles from the centre of half the biscuit circles.

STEP 5: Bake for 15 to 20 minutes, then remove to a wire rack to cool. Sandwich biscuits together with raspberry jam and leave to set.

ERIC: I hope my Shrewsburys Biscuits taste like honey
BOB: But you used Plum Jam!
ERIC: Yeah but I used a free range egg instead. It came from the beehive down the road, behind that old shed with motorbike parts in it.
BOB: What old shed?
ERIC: The old shed, like the one on old Kauri Road.
BOB: What the fuck are you talking about?
ERIC: Honey Shrewsburys Bob, keep up will ya?

Foamy Fountains

Yes Mr Bill Bailey - we too hath gazed blurringly upon the local city fountain mid-eruption!

Tauranga City fountain occasionally spews forth a lemon-scented foamy white snowcone of cleansing midnight decadance upon its inner city kerbs and cobblestones.

Justin Bieber gets sprayed with...

L&P! And the girl next to him laughs her ass off. Thats classic!
Oh, and L&P is the same colour as piss.

Just to annoy you, click it anyway. Youtube have removed the offending video for fear his voice might drop early.

Comic

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Erics Day at the Gardens

I was allowed out today and I visited the Christchurch Gardens.

I was especially excited to see the World Peace Bell.

On my next outing I am going to the Bromley Treatment Plant to see where shit goes.

Oh yeah, they're coming back!

Bob and Eric are setting up the new studio with an all-new blast of chimptastic tales of fortitude on their blazing trail of destiny to the netherparts of the south island of NZ, live from the Bromley Treatment Plant. Until then - Bob and Eric are twit-spitting to the web.

ERIC: Poor spider.
BOB: What spider?
ERIC: The spider on the web.
BOB: Huh?
ERIC: Are we spitting on a spider?

Bob & Eric - Back in TwentyTen

Live in late 2010 from the Bromley Treatment Plant!

With:

"Why do my clothes stink?"
"How do I open the fridge"

and

"Sometimes they let me turn on the tap"

Don't miss out on the greatest comeback this year!

Bob & Eric OUTTTTT