Don't Park on The Grass!

BOB: Eric - look what I found!
ERIC: Whats that Bob?
BOB: A video!
ERIC: A video? WOW! Where did you find it?
BOB: On the web...
ERIC: Thats the internet eh Bob.
BOB: Yeah.
ERIC: Not from a Spider eh Bob
BOB: No Eric.
ERIC: Was the video VHS or Betamax?
BOB: Damn, so close...

Glock, Clock & Rock: Shrewsbury Biscuits

Here's the wiggidy-wack, Jack. We love Shrewsburys so today we're gonna give you our glock, clock and rock how-to, yo.

First up, you're gonna need about 125g butter and half a cup of caster sugar.

ERIC: Some Bakers call it Bakers Sugar. Can't imagine why.
BOB: Yeah, other fine folk call it Super Fine sugar
ERIC: Geeks call it an edible crystalline substance, mainly sucrose, lactose, and fructose characterized by a sweet flavour. Nerds.

You'll also need some baking trays and non-stick baking paper.

ERIC: Playboy could learn a thing or two about that kind of paper.
BOB: Ahem.

You will also need a teaspoon of vanilla essence, one caged egg, 1 cup of flour and another half a cup of flour to create a grand total of one and a half cups of flour, a pinch of salt (ow!), a teaspoon of baking powder...

ERIC: Wow! I didn't know powder could bake!
BOB: Ask De La Soul - they bake a different kind of powder.

and finally the jam - pick whatever flavour you like best and get half a cup ready.

STEP 1: Heat your oven to 180C.
STEP 2: Line two baking trays with the nonstick baking paper. Place butter, sugar and vanilla in a bowl and beat until thick and pale, then beat in egg.

ERIC: Beat until thick and pale? I'm having 3rd form flashbacks.

STEP 3: Sift flour, salt and baking powder into the butter mixture and stir to combine. Turn mixture out onto a board and knead lightly to bring together as a firm dough. Wrap dough in plastic wrap and chill for 30 minutes.

BOB: No comment there Eric?
ERIC: No, I got all that.
BOB: Huh. (maybe a "plastic rap" later)

STEP 4: On a lightly floured surface, roll out dough to 3mm thick.

ERIC: What kind of flowered surface? I don't like chrysanthemums.
BOB: Did you see chrysanthemums on the ingredients list?
ERIC: Oh haha, righto. Some plants are just rude

STEP 4 (cont'd): Cut out 36 circles with a biscuit cutter and place on prepared baking trays. Cut out and remove smaller circles from the centre of half the biscuit circles.

STEP 5: Bake for 15 to 20 minutes, then remove to a wire rack to cool. Sandwich biscuits together with raspberry jam and leave to set.

ERIC: I hope my Shrewsburys Biscuits taste like honey
BOB: But you used Plum Jam!
ERIC: Yeah but I used a free range egg instead. It came from the beehive down the road, behind that old shed with motorbike parts in it.
BOB: What old shed?
ERIC: The old shed, like the one on old Kauri Road.
BOB: What the fuck are you talking about?
ERIC: Honey Shrewsburys Bob, keep up will ya?

Foamy Fountains

Yes Mr Bill Bailey - we too hath gazed blurringly upon the local city fountain mid-eruption!

Tauranga City fountain occasionally spews forth a lemon-scented foamy white snowcone of cleansing midnight decadance upon its inner city kerbs and cobblestones.

Justin Bieber gets sprayed with...

L&P! And the girl next to him laughs her ass off. Thats classic!
Oh, and L&P is the same colour as piss.

Just to annoy you, click it anyway. Youtube have removed the offending video for fear his voice might drop early.

Comic

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Erics Day at the Gardens

I was allowed out today and I visited the Christchurch Gardens.

I was especially excited to see the World Peace Bell.

On my next outing I am going to the Bromley Treatment Plant to see where shit goes.

Oh yeah, they're coming back!

Bob and Eric are setting up the new studio with an all-new blast of chimptastic tales of fortitude on their blazing trail of destiny to the netherparts of the south island of NZ, live from the Bromley Treatment Plant. Until then - Bob and Eric are twit-spitting to the web.

ERIC: Poor spider.
BOB: What spider?
ERIC: The spider on the web.
BOB: Huh?
ERIC: Are we spitting on a spider?

Bob & Eric - Back in TwentyTen

Live in late 2010 from the Bromley Treatment Plant!

With:

"Why do my clothes stink?"
"How do I open the fridge"

and

"Sometimes they let me turn on the tap"

Don't miss out on the greatest comeback this year!

Bob & Eric OUTTTTT